X-mas

the xmas spirit is everywhere, it's fucking great.
another world-wide social event where everyone is bound to be in a good mood & celebrating.

christmas is a time when families get together, forget about all their worries, put their troubles behind them.. temporarily. just until the christmas family celebration is over. just a few hours.
then it's back to reality.
some of yu may think that im an extreme pessimist towards the world; but i like to put my perspectives into words & share it through this internet diary of mine; regardless what yu feel towards them - i just like to share my views.
my family stopped celebrating xmas a long time ago - the last time i remember a tree up in my house was nearly 10 years ago - back in the philippines.
my family was extremely happy back then.. most likely because i was still a child - they were in control. children do as they are told, with no questioning.
they are scared of authority.
they are scared to be in control.
when a child goes through puberty and start to develop its own perspectives and starts to stand up against its parents; thats when the trouble kicks in - the child is now able to connect with society.
it's such a big jump - from being a child into a teenager, i think. although i'm only half way through my journey, i feel like i've experienced shit loads, and i've got so much to tell.

only if anyone asked.

back then, it was all about me getting what i wanted - what i desired for temporary entertainment.
things have changed a lot since i've moved back to hong kong, and as usual, i like to think all the change was for the best. we lived in a huge house back there in ayala alabang; and every festive holiday my mom used to decorate the whole entire two-story house depending on which festival it was - halloween or xmas, it was fucking fantastic. now i live in a tiny little flat here in hong kong; some nut bag decided it would be a great idea to squeeze in 4 bedrooms, a kitchen, 2 toilets, a living room and a balcony onto a floor. what an idiot. i've got heaps of photos of me posing like a little twat in front of the decorated house which i vaguely remember taking. i remember going around from house to house knocking on the houses with the scariest decoration asking for trick or treats, with my sister, and a plastic pumpkin in one hand. those decoratives used to scare the shit out of her - god knows what she's scared of nowadays. she's in her own little world experiencing the satisfaction of the invention of the cellular phone, and the computer.
and her so-called friends.

it's getting light. it's 6am on xmas morning, and my eyes feel like they weigh a ton.